Lucky cycle #3 for baby #3?

I am officially on to cycle number 3 of TTC baby number 3. Booooooo! This stinks! But I knew I didn't have much hope for this last cycle. I ovulated way late and then we only had sex on the day of ovulation. So it was pretty far fetched to think I would be pregnant now.

I woke up at 3:45 am this morning with some majorly nasty cramps. I got up and took some ibupofen and attempted to go back to bed. I was in to much pain to sleep and laying down made the cramps worse. So I went out to the living room to sit in the recliner while I waited for the ibuprofen to work. I drifted off for a little while and woke back up again at 5:30 am. I felt worse then I did before I took the ibuprofen. So I took some tylenol and that has helped a little bit. I still feel lousy but better then I did. I still think cramps are salt in the wounds. It is bad enough that you are not pregnant but now you have to feel like poop to drive home the point. UGH!

At least I have a plan for this new cycle. I can start fresh and hope that this will be our cycle. I bought some soy isoflavones to try out. I will take it just like I took clomid while TTC with Wyatt. I will continue with my prenatal vitamin, B6 and iron supplements too. The B6 helped lengthen my LP this cycle by a couple of days. The iron has been helping my energy levels. I have been getting a lot more done at work and at home. So I am going to continue those things and try the soy isoflavones also. Hopefully it will be the right mix and I will be expecting another June baby!

Catching up

I obviously need to take some time to catch up. I get so caught up in the day to day business that I forget to keep track of everything Wyatt is doing.

Wyatt is 13 months old now. He is walking a lot. Wyatt took his first steps on Memorial day. By the 4th of July he was walking a lot on his own. Now he walks more then he crawls. It used to be the other way around. He is so proud of himself and is so darn cute. It is hard to yell at him when he is toddling away from you no matter how horrible the thing he is doing is.

He knows how to crawl up on to the furniture and get back down on his own. He often will climb onto the arms of the couch and has fallen off twice now. You would think he would learn but that kid is fearless. If you leave the recliner unattended for more then a few seconds he will crawl up into the chair and make himself at home. Wyatt will either be slamming his little hands on the keyboard of the laptop or throwing everything off the side tables. He does not care if you just opened that can of pop.

Wyatt is not talking much. He picks up a new word every now and then and will use it over and over and over again until your head is about to explode. Then he just stops using it and moves on to something else. For the longest time it was the word tree. Everything was a TREEEEEEEEE!!! While he may not talk a lot himself he does understand and respond to you. It is way to funny when you tell him to paddy cake and he starts clapping his hands. Throw it in the oven is by far his favorite part.

So now that our little one is well on his way to being a toddler I am getting the ache for a baby again. I know crazy. I miss snuggley cuddly baby time. Even if Wyatt was never much of a cuddler. He is just to darn busy to snuggle. At least a year ago he would hold still once in a while. So it is starting to feel like it is time to TTC again. We will see what each day brings. I am praying that we have an easy transition and get pregnant quickly. I do not wish to return to our RE if we don't have to no matter how wonderful she was. But at least we know where to start this time around if we end up needing the help. Fingers crossed that we won't need any help.

Bring on the teeth!

Wyatt is teething again. He cut his second tooth yesterday morning. He now has the two bottom teeth in the front. He is working on the two front top teeth also. It has been kicking his butt! Wyatt has had a low grade fever and crabby and chewing on everything. It has been miserable. Wyatt has barely slept at all two nights in a row now. You can see his top gums are swollen and red. The two teeth are bulging at the gums. HURRY UP AND BREAK THROUGH! So my boy can get back to being a happy little man ... and sleep again!

3 year angel anniversary

Today is our 3 year angel anniversary. I can not believe it has already been 3 years since I miscarried. It is one of those things that seems like it happened just yesterday and an entire life time ago all at the same time. We had tried so hard for 2 years to get pregnant. We were so happy and excited to finally be having our first child together. We had shared the wonderful news with all of our family and friends.

But shortly after sharing the news cramping and spotting began. The doctor told me to lay down, rest and drink lots of water. Hoping that was all I needed to do to stop what I knew was happening I spent a few days in bed trying to rest. But it did no good. Our baby had no heart beat on the ultrasound. 3 years ago today the contractions started and we lost our child ... our dream ... a member of our family who we already loved more then life itself.

I wish I knew then what I know now. It would not have cut the pain. I lost a child. My baby died and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Nothing makes that better. But at least if I had known 3 years later I would have an amazing baby boy to hold and love I would have had hope. Back then I had very little hope.

Every holiday is at least a little difficult because I know we are missing a family member. I look at Bob and my heart aches for the baby who should be his age. The child who should be a big brother or sister right now. But then I look at my boys and I am grateful. I am grateful that I had the strength to make the choice to keep and raise Bryan. Despite all that has happened I have never for a single second regretted my decision to parent. I am grateful for the gift of experiencing pregnancy, birth and raising a child with my wonderful loving husband. Something I was worried I would never get to experience. I am grateful for this beautiful, high energy and extremely happy baby boy. Wyatt is every thing I dreamed off. He is everything I thought I lost that day. He is my light. He is my hope. He is my joy. I am grateful for my husband and my sons and my sweet angel baby in heaven looking down on us. We love you and we miss you every single day. You are never forgotten angel. Until we meet again we love you.

On the move!

This boy is all over the place now! I was pumping yesterday. I watched Wyatt army crawl (because he hasn't yet figured out that he can go forward on his hands and knees) around the side of the couch and out of my line of sight. So of course I had to turn the pump off and figure out what he was up to. Because every cord in the house looks like it needs to me wrestled and eaten ... NOW! Because the chihuahua is Wyatt sized and her ears are fun to pull and her eyes even more fun to poke. Because the carpet is coming up in front of the recliner and apparently Wyatt has taken up the art of carpet removal. Can some one teach him to mop or vacuum instead? Because people throw things towards the bathroom garbage can but make no effort to pick it up when they miss by a mile. So I turn off the pump and walk around the couch. Wyatt was in front of the bookcase playing with the movies on the bottom shelf. He had pulled one out. I informed him that he was far to young to watch Resident Evil and told him to get out of there. But instead of backing up are turning around he gets on his hands and knees and rocks back and forth. Then screams in anger when he cracks his head on the book shelf over and over again. *sigh* It is a good thing he is cute.

Separation Anxiety

Separation anxiety has set in ... lucky me. Don't get me wrong I love snuggling the baby. But he wanted to be in my arms for large amounts of time yesterday. And if I wasn't snuggling him while sitting in the middle of a pile of laundry that I only got half folded and that he was wiping his nose on then I was chasing him around. He does not crawl yet but he does creep. He pulls himself around on his belly with his arms like some kind of tiny little zombie child. (He bites with that one little tooth so be careful) It gets him around and it gets him there pretty fast. And the Christmas tree is still up. I have been sick. He decided that his big brother's Christmas ornaments and the string of lights looked like fabulous things to chew on. With out the presents there to block him it was a free for all. My tree skirt is no longer under the tree. He pulled it out, rolled around in it and left it for dead in the middle of the living room. *sigh* Why are boys so messy?

6 months old

I am so far behind on blogging it is crazy. Wyatt and work have been keeping me so busy I just not had time to sit down and write. Which is sad because I love writing. So here is a quick update on my little baby boo!

Wyatt is 6 months old ... almost 7 months old now. He is rolling every where and creeps around the floor. It is not exactly crawling because he is on his belly not his knees. But he gets to anything he wants to get to and a whole lot that he isn't suppose to be getting to. I am so happy to see him playing with toys. I would be a little more happy if he wasn't launching them across the room half the time. Wyatt loves his jumparoo. He can jump and play with the toys on the tray for hours.

While Wyatt is still mostly just on milk he has started solid foods. He isn't the biggest fan but slowly he is accepting more and more food. Wyatt LOVES the mashed potatoes at one of our favorite restaurants. We usually run out before he gets full. I am looking forward to giving him finger foods soon. I think he will do well. Everything else ends up in his mouth. Why not a little food every now and then. I continue to pump breast milk for Wyatt but I do not make much. A bought of the flu recently made a bad situation worse. So I only pump a few ounces a day. It is very frustrating that my body is weaning long before I am ready to. But I am happy that I have given Wyatt almost 7 months of breast milk. Even if it is largely supplemented now with formula. I will continue to pump until my body gives up completely or Wyatt turns one year old. Which ever comes first.

We have had some rotten illnesses lately. It sucks pretty bad when Wyatt is sick. He just lays there and whines non stop. Very exhausting and frustrating. I wish I could explain to him that sleeping will make him better. Moaning at the top of his lungs not so much. But of course he doesn't understand that.

So we are doing well. Wyatt is growing and developing well. His weight is on the low end but Bryan was the same way. I am sure Wyatt will catch up too. Until his next appointment at 9 months I will just have to fatten the baby bear up.