Diagnosis for Wyatt and a game plan.

Wyatt had his appointment this morning with a doctor in the Pediatric Infectious Disease department. He has been through all of Wyatt's history and asked me a bunch of questions. He examined Wyatt quickly and said he was sure he knew what was going on. The doctor said he is sure Wyatt has the fever disorder PFAPA just like we thought. It seems to be a pretty classic case. Basically Wyatt has a hyper immune system. For unknown reasons his immune system goes into over drive every 4-6 weeks attacking an infection that is not there. They don't know why this happens. It is genetic so there was nothing we could have done to prevent it. Thankfully it is easy to treat and Wyatt will out grow it some time between the age 5 - 10 years old. In the mean time we will treat each episode with a low dose of prednisone. The symptoms should disappear in 1-2 hours after receiving the medication. Which is a huge difference from the usual 4-5 DAYS we are used to. Sometimes the meds can cause attacks to come more often. If we get to a point where Wyatt is having an attack every 2-3 weeks instead of the usual 4-6 weeks then we will discuss removing his tonsils which cures it for 2/3 of patients. While the disorder is actually pretty common it is not common for more the one family member to have it. It happens but very rarely so Adelia should be fine. But at least we know what to look for and what to do if she starts exhibiting symptoms. The doctor said the child with PFAPA is usually the healthiest person in the family outside of these attacks. I believe that because Wyatt (like Bryan) almost never gets colds or the flu. While we were there Wyatt got his flu shot so that is taken care of too. I am so relieved to finally have a diagnosis, a prescription, a game plan and a light at the end of the tunnel.

June Update and Great News

It is June and the day before Wyatt's second birthday. For your birthday Wyatt you get .... to be a big brother!





I got my first BFP on May 30th. It was super super faint so I tested with a digital test and got a PREGNANT result! I went on Friday for a blood test. My beta was 31. The nurse called and said that was low and they wanted me to go in on Monday and do another beta. So I went in super early Monday morning and still had to wait in line forever just to get checked in. The nurse never did call me back but thankfully I can check my lab results and see the nurse's notes online. My second beta was 102! It more then tripled! That is fantastic news as they just wanted to see it double in that time frame. I also had my thyroid checked again and it was at 2.2. She wanted it 2.5 or lower so the medicine is working well! Obviously since I got pregnant on my own.

I of course have been worried the last week. Between our former loss and the nurse scaring me about my number I was a wreck. I did some checking online and asked a bunch of people from different boards. Apparently my number was actually very normal for where I was in my cycle. I tried to tell the nurse that but she didn't seem to be listening to me. So I took many many many tests over the last week. Yes I know I am crazy. But when you are TTC for a long time and especially with infertility you tend to stock up on pregnancy tests so you can test as you like with out having to constantly run out to the store just to get your period an hour later. You find a good deal and you stock up! So here are a few pictures of my progression from 10 dpo when I got my first faint positive test to 15 dpo when I stopped testing.




 











Baby #3 is due February 10, 2013. This will be my first non summer baby. So much for hand me downs!

May RE Appointment

I have had a crazy busy day today. I had an eye exam this morning because of the blurred vision in my left eye. It turns out my cornea is inflamed. The doctor gave me steroid eye drops that I have to take for the next 5 days. Then I return in 2 weeks so she can recheck my eye and make sure it is all healed up. I am so relieved that it is nothing serious and hopefully easily fixed now. I have only taken one dose of drops and I can already see better out of that eye. The best part is I don't need new glasses!

I had my RE appointment this afternoon to go over all the tests I had done and for a weight check. I have lost 15 pounds since my last appointment with her in March! The nurse actually made me get off the scale so she could recalibrate it and then had me get back on to make sure the numbers were right. Mildly insulting but what ever. LOL My RE was very impressed with the weight loss and kept telling me what a great job I am doing. That was nice. 

The doctor said my ultrasound looked great. There is no scar tissue like there was before from my c-section. She said my ovaries looked great, no cysts and plenty of eggs in there. Woohoo! One less thing to worry about! 

My labs showed that I have hypothyroidism so she put me on synthroid. She felt my 3 hour glucose numbers were to high and says I am pre diabetic. So she prescribed me metformin. I will be taking both medications once a day. I am not thrilled that there is something wrong but I am relieved that there might be a reason with an easy fix for my infertility. 

I go back in 6 weeks for a blood test and another follow up appointment. If the synthroid is doing it's job and I keep losing weight she said she would feel ok prescribing me clomid!!!!!!!!!!!! I won't have to lose all the weight she wanted me to lose! So I really have to work my butt off and make sure I continue to lose weight over the next 6 weeks. Both medications she gave me have weight loss as a side effect. So she said they might even help me lose extra weight. I am so nervous and excited all at the same time. I don't want to mess this up and give her a reason to decide not to give me the clomid. On the other hand I hope the medications help even me out super quick and I get pregnant on my own. LOL Either way at least we made some huge steps forward today. 

Something has got to give

I feel like my head is going to explode. I am so stressed out and it is like 4 or 5 different things and I can't seem to make any great strides on any of them.

I call about the job but no one returns my phone calls. I sent an email today saying I was still interested in the position and I wanted to know if I was still in the running for the job or not. Ethan is starting to freak out about money and I have nothing to give him to make him feel better. I have some money in saving but it will only help out for another week or two. Then I don't know what. I just wish they would call. If they have no intention of hiring me then fine. I can move on and look for another job. I have an application filled out for a day program that is similar to the group home job I did. It would be nice because they are not open on weekends or holidays. But the pay will be a lot less. Of course at this point all I care is that I start getting a pay check. It sucks because I LOVE being home and don't want to work. So I have to work.

There are things I want to do to improve the house but I can't because I am not working so we don't have the extra money. We desperately need another dresser in our bedroom. I took all of the pants out of the bottom drawer so I could put the rest of Ethan's shirts in it. Now all of our pants are sitting on a tote of maternity clothes next to the dresser because I have no where to put them. I want to get one of those bookcase thingies that you put the cloth open top drawers into for Wyatt's toys. He has managed to crap the top plastic shelf that I have his toys in now. So I need something more sturdy and something that hides the chaos better. We need to stain the sliding glass door. We need to paint the living room and our bedroom this summer. But with no extra money coming in all of that has to be put on hold for now. Which just plain sucks.

I am stressing out about the results of that ultrasound. I check the website everyday but they don't post anything. They may not post anything at all. When I talked to the ultrasound tech she said I had to wait until my follow up visit to get my results from my doctor. That is still a month away. So I have no idea if anything is wrong or not. If I do have scar tissue I would have to have surgery again to remove. Obviously that is not even remotely an option right now. I can't take the week off I would need to recover from the surgery when I get a job,. And I have to get a job. If it was something I had known about weeks ago I could have done it. But now it is to late. So that might make getting pregnant very difficult or even impossible.

I am still so angry that the RE won't help us. I can't get pregnant on my own. She won't give me the Clomid. I feel like time is running out. I am doing my best to not feel hopeless but I start to wonder if we will ever have another child. I love my boys and am so grateful for them. But I want more then 2 children. I wrote on a facebook secondary infertility board that if Michelle Duggar is allowed to have 19 children then I should be allowed to have 3 or 4 children. The fact that I have 2 children helps but does not make infertility any less painful. It is not a crime to want to complete my family but this RE makes me feel like it is!

I have to lose weight if I ever want her to give me the medications. I am angry that I am being bullied into losing weight instead of doing it because I want to. All I want to do is bury my head in a bowl of mac n cheese but I know that will only make things worse. So it is a constant battle to eat less and get moving when all I want to do is sit on my butt and shovel nummy food in to make me feel better. It is a slow process and I have so much to lose that the whole thing makes my head spin.

Something has to give soon because I am pretty sure I am going to explode. I am just so frustrated and I am not sleeping well. So I am tired and cranky most of the day which makes it even harder to get up and get moving or clean the house. *sigh* If it was just one hurdle it wouldn't be so bad. It is the long line of hurdles in front of me that is making my nuts.

Ultrasound

I had an ultrasound done today to check for endometriosis. They didn't tell me anything at the appointment. She said I would have to wait until my follow up appointment with my RE on May 9th to get the results. I am checking the website to see if anything is posted with some results like they did with the blood test results. But so far nothing has shown up. It is going to be a looooooong wait for the follow up appointment. Fingers crossed that their is no scar tissue again because I don't have time to take a week off to heal from surgery again. Plus I don't want any more hurdles to have to jump to complete our family.

Uterus ... I think we need to have a talk

Look uterus we need to have a talk. Unless there is a baby in you I don't want to hear a peep out of you. This bucking like a wild bronco for 4 days is uncalled for and pretty much ruins my weekend. Do what you need to do but do it silently because bleeding like a stuck pig is more then enough punishment for one day. If you can not abide by these rules I will have to evict you all together. So the next c-section you better be shaking in your obviously stiletto heels princess because the baby may not be the only one with a one way ticket out!

To fat for babies

Long story short my RE told me today I am to fat for babies. Don't worry she wasn't that mean about it. Both of the doctors I saw today were very kind but made it very clear that they would not help us have another baby until I lost a significant amount of weight. I crunched the numbers and I will have to lose roughly 93 pounds before they will let us have clomid again.

She will still be running all the basic tests on me like she did last time. Blood tests to check my hormone levels and my thyroid function. She is throwing a few new tests in this time. I had some endometriosis last time that she preformed surgery to remove for me. She will be doing an ultrasound to see if any of it has returned and if I will need more surgery to remove it again. On Wednesday I have to have a 3 hour glucose test done to test for diabetes. Yes it is the same test they do during pregnancy when you bomb the 1 hour one. She thinks it may be the reason my cycles are so long and I ovulate so late. If I am pre diabetic or diabetic she will put me on Metformin. It will both help me regulate my sugars and lose weight. What a lovely side effect! Good be worse ... good be a leaky butt like other drugs.

I have agreed to see a nutritionist and seek help from the weight loss clinic. If I can prove that I am really putting forth the effort and losing weight they may bend the rules and allow me to try clomid sooner. But either way I have to lose at least some weight to have another baby.

I was not happy and am struggling to not take it personally. I am a good person who wants to have another child. I love my kids and take good care of them. So it is hard to hear some one say you are not fit to help get pregnant. It is crushing. So my options are lose weight or not have anymore children. And the second is not an option for us. So I guess I have no choice but to work my tooshy off to make my way to baby.