Bring on the teeth!

Wyatt is teething again. He cut his second tooth yesterday morning. He now has the two bottom teeth in the front. He is working on the two front top teeth also. It has been kicking his butt! Wyatt has had a low grade fever and crabby and chewing on everything. It has been miserable. Wyatt has barely slept at all two nights in a row now. You can see his top gums are swollen and red. The two teeth are bulging at the gums. HURRY UP AND BREAK THROUGH! So my boy can get back to being a happy little man ... and sleep again!

3 year angel anniversary

Today is our 3 year angel anniversary. I can not believe it has already been 3 years since I miscarried. It is one of those things that seems like it happened just yesterday and an entire life time ago all at the same time. We had tried so hard for 2 years to get pregnant. We were so happy and excited to finally be having our first child together. We had shared the wonderful news with all of our family and friends.

But shortly after sharing the news cramping and spotting began. The doctor told me to lay down, rest and drink lots of water. Hoping that was all I needed to do to stop what I knew was happening I spent a few days in bed trying to rest. But it did no good. Our baby had no heart beat on the ultrasound. 3 years ago today the contractions started and we lost our child ... our dream ... a member of our family who we already loved more then life itself.

I wish I knew then what I know now. It would not have cut the pain. I lost a child. My baby died and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Nothing makes that better. But at least if I had known 3 years later I would have an amazing baby boy to hold and love I would have had hope. Back then I had very little hope.

Every holiday is at least a little difficult because I know we are missing a family member. I look at Bob and my heart aches for the baby who should be his age. The child who should be a big brother or sister right now. But then I look at my boys and I am grateful. I am grateful that I had the strength to make the choice to keep and raise Bryan. Despite all that has happened I have never for a single second regretted my decision to parent. I am grateful for the gift of experiencing pregnancy, birth and raising a child with my wonderful loving husband. Something I was worried I would never get to experience. I am grateful for this beautiful, high energy and extremely happy baby boy. Wyatt is every thing I dreamed off. He is everything I thought I lost that day. He is my light. He is my hope. He is my joy. I am grateful for my husband and my sons and my sweet angel baby in heaven looking down on us. We love you and we miss you every single day. You are never forgotten angel. Until we meet again we love you.

On the move!

This boy is all over the place now! I was pumping yesterday. I watched Wyatt army crawl (because he hasn't yet figured out that he can go forward on his hands and knees) around the side of the couch and out of my line of sight. So of course I had to turn the pump off and figure out what he was up to. Because every cord in the house looks like it needs to me wrestled and eaten ... NOW! Because the chihuahua is Wyatt sized and her ears are fun to pull and her eyes even more fun to poke. Because the carpet is coming up in front of the recliner and apparently Wyatt has taken up the art of carpet removal. Can some one teach him to mop or vacuum instead? Because people throw things towards the bathroom garbage can but make no effort to pick it up when they miss by a mile. So I turn off the pump and walk around the couch. Wyatt was in front of the bookcase playing with the movies on the bottom shelf. He had pulled one out. I informed him that he was far to young to watch Resident Evil and told him to get out of there. But instead of backing up are turning around he gets on his hands and knees and rocks back and forth. Then screams in anger when he cracks his head on the book shelf over and over again. *sigh* It is a good thing he is cute.

Separation Anxiety

Separation anxiety has set in ... lucky me. Don't get me wrong I love snuggling the baby. But he wanted to be in my arms for large amounts of time yesterday. And if I wasn't snuggling him while sitting in the middle of a pile of laundry that I only got half folded and that he was wiping his nose on then I was chasing him around. He does not crawl yet but he does creep. He pulls himself around on his belly with his arms like some kind of tiny little zombie child. (He bites with that one little tooth so be careful) It gets him around and it gets him there pretty fast. And the Christmas tree is still up. I have been sick. He decided that his big brother's Christmas ornaments and the string of lights looked like fabulous things to chew on. With out the presents there to block him it was a free for all. My tree skirt is no longer under the tree. He pulled it out, rolled around in it and left it for dead in the middle of the living room. *sigh* Why are boys so messy?