Uterus ... I think we need to have a talk

Look uterus we need to have a talk. Unless there is a baby in you I don't want to hear a peep out of you. This bucking like a wild bronco for 4 days is uncalled for and pretty much ruins my weekend. Do what you need to do but do it silently because bleeding like a stuck pig is more then enough punishment for one day. If you can not abide by these rules I will have to evict you all together. So the next c-section you better be shaking in your obviously stiletto heels princess because the baby may not be the only one with a one way ticket out!